The two picture above are of Liam at 7 weeks. The picture below is of Kale is at 5 weeks. Liam is beginning to take on his own look and doesn't look as much like Kale anymore. (He is definitely bigger!)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Mr. Gatti's
Kris and I had the brilliant idea to take Kale to Mr. Gatti's this weekend (kinda like Chuck E. Cheese). That place is crazy!!!! The line for the pizza buffet was a mile long. Kris kept saying it was a case of diarrhea waiting to happen. Kale seemed to agree as the only thing he would eat was packaged crackers that Kris got to go with his salad.
Overall I was not impressed with the place. It was dark and dingy and I am sure everything was crawling with germs...Kale seemed to love it though!
He was very preoccupied with all the activity going on around him, so it was hard to get a decent picture.
Someone suggested this place for Kale's birthday. Needless to say, we will not be having the party there!
Brothers
This weekend I attempted to get a picture of Kale and Liam in their matching shirts. It didn't turn out too well. Kale just won't be still these days!
My boys love their pacis!
Kale is obsessed with Liam's paci. In this picture, you can see that Kale is picking up the paci from the corner of the boppy.
Now he's attempting to put it in Liam's mouth. . .
Success!!!
Even if Liam is having a bottle or sleeping, Kale thinks he needs his paci and blankie...more than likely because those are the things that Kale really wants.
We are trying to break Kale from walking around with the paci and blankie, so he has to go to bed when he wants those things. As you can tell, it's not really a punishment for him.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Momastery
If you enjoy following blogs, I strongly recommend you add this one to your list:
http://momastery.com/blog/
It's particularly great for new mommies!
http://momastery.com/blog/
It's particularly great for new mommies!
Kale's Fauxhawk
Kale used ranch dressing as gel in his hair yesterday. (He loves ranch dressing on absolutely all food, including all types of fruit.) I was able to sculpt a perfect faux hawk in his hair afterwards.
He wasn't so happy in the end though, because he to have a bath. Bathing a toddler in a cast is not nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Liam's chubby cheeks...so squeezable!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Going to Church
We finally made it to church this weekend! Liam was 6 weeks old on Tuesday, so we felt okay with taking him out around large groups of people. As you can see, Liam got all dressed up for the occasion. We were both a little stressed trying to get ourselves and both boys dressed, fed, and to church on time. As we slid into the pew about 3 minutes before the service started, we both breathed a sigh of relief and congratulated each other on arriving on time!
In this picture, he is lounging in his nap nanny before church. What exactly is a nap nanny, you may ask? It's a very expensive piece of foam covered in soft fabric...kinda like a baby recliner. It's supposed to help with reflux by keeping them evaluated. So, far I am happy with it. Since we purchased it, he has done great at night...getting up only once between 3 and 4 a.m.!
My two boys in semi-matching clothes...both in gray argyle.
It's difficult to get them both to cooperate during picture taking.
I love Kale's hat!
I am definitely learning about birth order by having two of my own children. I comment all of the time that it's no wonder first borns turn out as they do...they get all of the attention because they DEMAND it! Liam is much more laid back than Kale but I think it's because he has to be. Parents can only handle one high maintenance, demanding child at a time.
My sweet, growing baby. He will be 7 weeks tomorrow and is already in 6 month clothing. The pants he has on in this picture are 3 month pants...can you see how short they are?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Results of my Experiment
Although 5 days have not passed yet, I have learned a few things. First of all, it is not possible to have a baby on a schedule if you have a life. Anytime I have to go somewhere, it messes with Liam's schedule! If I wait to go when he is sleeping, he will wake up. If I wait to go run errands when he is awake, he inevitably falls asleep. I'm hoping once I go back to work he will get on a better schedule. My sitter is at great at that, so I'm sure it won't take her any time at all! What I have decided to do for now is to keep recording his feedings and naps and hopefully I will begin to see some sort of pattern.
I did a little facebook poll to see what people thought of attachment parents vs. CIO (cry it out). As with everything, everyone had a different opinion. I have taken a mixed approach. I rock Liam until he is drowsy then I put him down in his bed. If he cries, I let him cry for about 5 minutes, then go in put his paci in, pat his booty, and walk out. If he starts to cry again, I wait a bit longer...8 minutes this time, and go in and do the same. So far, it seems to be pretty effective. Last night was a GREAT night for Liam (and it was my turn to get up with him at night too)! He only got up once, at 2:30 a.m., and then went right back to sleep. He got up next at 7 a.m. I fed him a bottle and then he fell right back asleep until 10 a.m.!!!! This was so exciting for me. Keep your fingers crossed that we can have more nights like this.
In other news, Kale is finally learning to sleep in his cast and has slept through the night the past couple of nights. That is huge because it means we are getting up with one baby, not two!
I did a little facebook poll to see what people thought of attachment parents vs. CIO (cry it out). As with everything, everyone had a different opinion. I have taken a mixed approach. I rock Liam until he is drowsy then I put him down in his bed. If he cries, I let him cry for about 5 minutes, then go in put his paci in, pat his booty, and walk out. If he starts to cry again, I wait a bit longer...8 minutes this time, and go in and do the same. So far, it seems to be pretty effective. Last night was a GREAT night for Liam (and it was my turn to get up with him at night too)! He only got up once, at 2:30 a.m., and then went right back to sleep. He got up next at 7 a.m. I fed him a bottle and then he fell right back asleep until 10 a.m.!!!! This was so exciting for me. Keep your fingers crossed that we can have more nights like this.
In other news, Kale is finally learning to sleep in his cast and has slept through the night the past couple of nights. That is huge because it means we are getting up with one baby, not two!
Big Smiles!
Liam is really starting to smile these days! Kris hasn't been able to see him smile, so luckily I was able to capture it on camera.
I had to include a few pictures of Kale, too! I finally remembered to buy marshmallows (his current favorite food). He is great at eating them, even with a broken arm.
"Little" Liam during a sweet moment. He looks just like Kale in this one!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Don't Carpe Diem
I loved this article. Every young mom should read it! I was rolling with laughter during part of it!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Attachment Parenting vs. Cry It Out
This is obviously my second time with a little one, but I still have no idea what I am doing. I go back and forth between wearing him in a sling and letting him sleep with me, to thinking I need to get him on a better schedule and let him cry a little bit. From what I have read, there really is no better method, just whichever one you feel most comfortable with. . . I am not sure which one is for me. All I know is that the method we are using now, which is really no method, is not working. Last night and today have been horrible! No sleep for Liam or Kris or I.
I tried Babywise with Kale. It DID NOT work. I could do the scheduling okay, but the problem was laying him down to sleep. According to the book, you are not supposed to rock babies, let them sleep in their bouncer or swing, etc. You are supposed to lay them down and they go to sleep on their own. The book acknowledges that there will be some crying, and estimates the crying at 15-20 minutes. Well, this was not the case with Kale. He would cry for hours, even as a wee tike. So, that method did not work for us...but then again Kale didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old and routinely still does not sleep through the night.
I never wore Kale in a sling and thought I would give it try with Liam. Liam LOVES his moby wrap and I think he would let me carry him around it in all day. Liam also loves to sleep with me and Kris, I mean, what baby wouldn't?? However, we do not love to sleep with Liam. He is a terrible co-sleeper. I tried to let him cry it out the other day. He did quite well. He cried for 15 minutes the first time, then slept for 2 1/2 hours. Next time, he didn't cry at all. Then the next time, he cried for 8 minutes and then slept for 30 minutes, then woke up, and started crying again and wouldn't stop, so I"m not sure if it's effective at his age or not.
So, what I am thinking I will do is a little experiment. All of the books say it takes 3-5 days to develop a habit. For up to 5 days, I am going to try getting Liam on a strict sleeping schedule with no more sleeping with mom and dad. If it doesn't work after 5 days, I will embrace attachment parenting and see if that method works. I will report my findings back on my blog...this way all of my "followers" can hold me accountable for actually giving one method or the other a true chance.
I tried Babywise with Kale. It DID NOT work. I could do the scheduling okay, but the problem was laying him down to sleep. According to the book, you are not supposed to rock babies, let them sleep in their bouncer or swing, etc. You are supposed to lay them down and they go to sleep on their own. The book acknowledges that there will be some crying, and estimates the crying at 15-20 minutes. Well, this was not the case with Kale. He would cry for hours, even as a wee tike. So, that method did not work for us...but then again Kale didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old and routinely still does not sleep through the night.
I never wore Kale in a sling and thought I would give it try with Liam. Liam LOVES his moby wrap and I think he would let me carry him around it in all day. Liam also loves to sleep with me and Kris, I mean, what baby wouldn't?? However, we do not love to sleep with Liam. He is a terrible co-sleeper. I tried to let him cry it out the other day. He did quite well. He cried for 15 minutes the first time, then slept for 2 1/2 hours. Next time, he didn't cry at all. Then the next time, he cried for 8 minutes and then slept for 30 minutes, then woke up, and started crying again and wouldn't stop, so I"m not sure if it's effective at his age or not.
So, what I am thinking I will do is a little experiment. All of the books say it takes 3-5 days to develop a habit. For up to 5 days, I am going to try getting Liam on a strict sleeping schedule with no more sleeping with mom and dad. If it doesn't work after 5 days, I will embrace attachment parenting and see if that method works. I will report my findings back on my blog...this way all of my "followers" can hold me accountable for actually giving one method or the other a true chance.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Life
Liam will be 6 weeks old on Tuesday. Sometimes it feels like these 6 weeks have passed so quickly...and other times it seems like he should be much older.
Liam is getting quite chunky. He is ready to move into into size 2 diapers, unfortunately we have tons of size 1 diapers left from the diaper shower. I sure hope I can return them. He is also just about ready for 6 month clothes.
Kale and I went to the mall on Saturday for some mother/son bonding time. (We love to shop together.) We went to Build-a-Bear and he made a doctor giraffe to commemorate his first broken bone. He named the giraffe Dr. Huebner, after his orthopedic doctor.
Kale also had to have new clothes while we were at the mall. His 12 month clothes are FINALLY getting too small for him. His 12 month pants are definitely high waters...he looks ridiculous in them, so we got some 18 month pants and a few shirts from Children's Place. He also insisted on getting this hat. And of course, we got a pretzel while we were at the mall. Our favorite thing to eat!
Even with a broken arm, Kale still thinks he is independent. He tries to put his shoes on himself.
Then, he gets mad when he get them on without assistance! :)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Boys will be Boys
I knew it would happen sooner or later...I was just hoping it would be later.
I received a call from the sitter today saying I needed to come and check out Kale, that he had fallen while riding a toy car and wasn't acting right, something was wrong with his arm. Liam and I went to investigate and called the doctor on the way. When we got there he wouldn't move his arm and was very quiet and would cry if I attempted to touch his arm. We climbed into the car (it was no small feat getting him into his car seat) and headed to the doctor. Once there, we got x-rays and got sent to an orthopedic who confirmed our suspicions. . . Kale had a broken bone--his elbow. I didn't even know you could break your elbow, but apparently you can. Kale is in a cast and a sling. Kris and Kale are currently on a mission to find clothing that will fit over his cast.
A good man is hard to find--but Kale did his chores even with his broken arm. He is a tough little guy and didn't cry all that much even though we knew he was in a ton of pain.
It is so hard to see your child hurting and know that there is nothing you can do to help. They took multiple x-rays for which Kris had to hold Kale down . It just doesn't seem fair!
I have a feeling with this active little guy we may have more broken bones in the future!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
25 Rules for Moms with Sons
I stole this from another mom's blog (http://studerteam.blogspot.com/2011/11/25-rules-for-mothers-of-sons.html). It is rather lengthy, but I absolutely love it!
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
2. Be a cheerleader for his life
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
3. Teach him how to do laundry
..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
4. Read to him and read with
him.
Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles.
5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
6. Make sure he has examples of good men
who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their
integrity.
7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because
of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains,
determination, and integrity.
9. Teach him to have manners
because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
10. Give him something to believe
in
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.
11. Teach him that there are times when
you need to be gentle
like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.
12. Let him ruin his clothes...and destroy your house ( I struggle the most with this one.)
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football
or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
14. Go outside with him
turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
S
because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.
like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football
or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.
***When I first found out we were having a boy, my first reaction was, "What am I going to do with a boy!!!" I don't like sports, outside, action movies, etc. But as I have discovered, you learn to like these things because your sons do.
15. Let him lose
Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
16. Give him opportunities to help
others
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
17. Remind him that practice makes
perfect.
This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
18.
Answer him when he asks, "Why?"
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on
you.
especially the wipes.
20. Let his dad teach him how to do
things
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.
21. Give him something to release his
energy
drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.
22. Build him forts
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).
25. Be home base
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
especially the wipes.
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.
drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Having Two is Hard!
One of the things that people forget to tell you about being parents is that while two kids are double the joy, they are also double the work. One thing Kris and I have discovered this week is that having two is just plain hard work! One of them is always crying...if Kale starts, then Liam does too and vice versa. It's like sympathy crying. Kale is really struggling with adjusting to having a brother. We try to pay just as much attention to him, but he absolutely throws wild fits if one of us picks up Liam. Kris picked Liam up from his car seat today and as he walked away, Kale could be seen pummeling the empty car seat with kicks and punches...a little scary. Hopefully this is something he will get over. Other than the tough adjustment, we have had major sickness in our household. Kale came down with strep on Friday, I contracted some time of stomach bug on Saturday, which left Kris fending for all of us on Sunday. As a result of all this sickness, no one has been sleeping, like at all, at night. The pure exhaustion phase has set in.
I saw a quote one of my sweet friends put on her blog that helped put things into perspective. "The days are long, but the years are short." This has become my mantra of late. This is what I try to remember when the house is a mess (if you know me, you know I am "slightly" OCD about having a neat house.), both kids are crying, and I am exhausted. I take a deep breath and think of that song, it won't be like this for long. As I am rocking my sweet baby to sleep at 2 a.m., I remember that time passes quickly and that in just a matter of months, he will not wake up and want to be rocked to sleep. So when the days seem long (the nights even longer), I remember that the years are short and my sweet little men will be big men before I know it. So if you have a baby and a toddler running around the house, as many of my friends do right now, post this quote on your bathroom mirrors and next to your fridge, "The days are long, but the years are short." It really does help to remind one of what's really important.
I saw a quote one of my sweet friends put on her blog that helped put things into perspective. "The days are long, but the years are short." This has become my mantra of late. This is what I try to remember when the house is a mess (if you know me, you know I am "slightly" OCD about having a neat house.), both kids are crying, and I am exhausted. I take a deep breath and think of that song, it won't be like this for long. As I am rocking my sweet baby to sleep at 2 a.m., I remember that time passes quickly and that in just a matter of months, he will not wake up and want to be rocked to sleep. So when the days seem long (the nights even longer), I remember that the years are short and my sweet little men will be big men before I know it. So if you have a baby and a toddler running around the house, as many of my friends do right now, post this quote on your bathroom mirrors and next to your fridge, "The days are long, but the years are short." It really does help to remind one of what's really important.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
1 Month Old!
It's hard to believe that Liam turned 1 month old yesterday. I am going to try to take pictures each month on the day he was born so I can track how much he has grown. He is still eating like a champ. Kris got back in town from Canada yesterday and kept commenting on how "huge" Liam looked. He completely fills out 3 month clothing and is well on his way to wearing 6 month clothes already. It's truly amazing how quickly babies grow in the beginning--it seems almost painful. I guess that's why they do all that sleeping.
In other news, we made it through the week with just mom and boys. Kale did manage to come down with strep throat during that time. (Like I said in my previous post...it's Murphy's Law of Parenting.) However, Kris got in town just in time to take Kale to the doctor. I am thankful for my husband!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sleeping Baby
Aunt Missy took these pictures while she was here. Liam looks very greasy in this picture...he had aquaphor all over his face. He has been peeling like crazy so I have been slathering the lotion on!
Liam has this shirt that says "lil brother Liam" and Kale has one that says "big brother Kale". I failed to get a picture of the two of them together.
We have had lots of family at our house over the past month. Yesterday was the first day Kris and I were solo parents without help from family, and today, Kris left for Canada. So, I am home with both boys by myself until Friday afternoon. I have been very nervous about this. Kale has been having a very hard time transitioning to life with Liam, so I was really afraid this week would be filled with tears, however, so far so good! 1 day down, 3 more to go. Kale went to the sitter this morning and Liam has slept basically all day (what's new). When Kale got home from the sitter, he was very sweet to Liam. No one threw any fits and I don't think any tears were shed. Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for me. Hopefully we will make it until Friday!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Eve
For New Year's Eve, Kris, Missy, and I went out on the town. Grandma and grandpa Helling stayed home with the boys.
We went to have sushi for dinner and it was delicious! I love sushi and have missed eating it the past several months.
After dinner, we went downtown to have a few drinks. Kris and I agreed we are getting old because we sorely misjudged the number of people who were at the bars. We couldn't even get into many of them.
We had a great time ringing in 2012 together and it was nice to have a night out. Kris' mom kept Liam in her room that night so Kris and I could get a full night's sleep. Kale had other plans though. He had an upset stomach in the middle of the night and didn't sleep well at all, plus he was up earlier than usual. It's Murphy's Law though--when you have children--if it can go wrong, it will!
Christmas #2
Kris' parents and sister came to visit us and meet Liam. They arrived on the 27th, so we had our second Christmas with them! Once again, we had too many presents and ate too much food! Kale and Liam got lots of great presents from our family members in Iowa.
Kale received lots of color wonder art supplies. (These are wonderful if you have toddlers, so they can paint, use markers, etc, and the color only shows on special paper.
Missy, Marilyn, and I went to get our toenails done one afternoon.
On the 30th, Iowa State and University of Iowa played in bowl games, so we made lots of food and watched the games. Well...Kris and I mainly chased after children, but Kris did attempt to watch the game.
My boys in their Iowa gear.
Grandma Marilyn dressed in her Iowa gear too.
I don't own any Iowa State attire, so I wore yellow in support (It was the best I could do.)
My brother bought Liam this six-pack shirt. He looks hilarious in it!
Kale had a bit of a mishap with the marshmallows. He did attempt to clean up after himself though!
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